Tale Of Two Countries
by harponMOO
Summary: Parodies of popular pairings, random thoughts, and crack galore! Requests taken. UsUk, GerIta, RoChu, Franada, and much more :D
1. USUK

Once upon a time there lived two boys, they were complete opposites.

One was obnoxiously happy, the other was a sinful cynic.

One eat too much, the other rationed too little.

One was an extrovert, the other had defined alexistyhmia.

One was like Stan Lee, the other like Voltaire.

One liked coffee, the other tea.

One was a Mac, the other a PC.

And on a cold June night, they confessed to each other.

One spoke words of kindness, the other words of hate and denial.

But it didn't matter because they ended up having sex in the back of a car.

The Mac totally topped.

**My brain went on Hiatus…this is the product of me wanting to write something (stupid).**

**Reviews will be used to make omelettes..**

**(see what I did there…right there…yeaahh)**

**Comment and there might be more tales of more countries (cough cough Germany and Italy cough cough)**

**HarponMOO is out **


	2. GERITA

A long, long time ago in a galaxy that was pretty much this one, a bashful country fell in love with a strict one.

It was basically a ticking time bomb.

They argued; for the bashful one was quite annoying and pathetic, and the strict country didn't put up with it well, often cursing.

One screamed while the other cowered in the corner, one wanted wurst and the other pasta.

They got stranded; sure, maybe some quiet Japanese guy was there but who cares because _ohmygosh_ it was such a fan moment and of course America had to ruin it with his whole "hero" thing and the whole "saving the world from Nazi" business.

They let each other down; one wanted kisses and kindness and the other wanted a strong partner in war who would burn that stupid white flag that almost seemed to represent it better than the red and green and white one.

Occasionally they got along and slept in the same bed and songs were sang and cheeks were kissed.

They gave each other the silent treatment; and boy was that terrible.

But the best part was what came after.

And yes, there was plenty of bondage.

**Somebody want more (cough cough me cough cough) so here it is! Who do you wanna see next?**

**More reviews= this one gets priority over my other fics with more reviews (7 at the time is my highest…I know I am extremely cool, you don't need to point)**

**HarponMOO is out :D**


	3. ROCHU

If you give a Russian vodka, he will get drunk.

If he gets drunk, he might start blabbering.

If he starts blabbering, he might confess secrets.

If he confesses secrets, people might find out.

If China finds out, he might share his too.

If China shares his, it might lead to awareness of their mutual love.

If they become aware of their mutual love, they might start dating.

If they start dating, things might get mushy.

If things get mushy, there might be sex.

And in the morning, when the sheets are damp, and backs are sore, Russia will reach out for more vodka, da.

**dadadada dun dun dun...that is the oriental riff people... I tell no lies.**

**Wikipedia it.**

**TWO UPLOADS IN ONE DAY? WHAT IS THIS MADDNESS! **

**What do you think? **

**Snap, guess you'll have to PM me or review for me to find out.**

_**Who won? Who's next? You decide! Epic rap battles of hi-**_

**Dude, wrong internet amusement website.**

**Scurry on nicepeter.**

**Review and there will be more.**

**Simple as memorising the quadratic equation. **

**HarponMOO is out :D**


	4. SPAMANO

**A Tale of Two Countries, now with Bible-badgering abilities.**

**If this offends you, please stop reading.**

**Now.**

**I gave you a warning.**

In the beginning,Hidekaz Himaruya created chibi-Romano.

Chibi-Romano was without manners and good work ethics, and wetness was over the covers of the bed. And Hidekaz Himaruya said, " Let there be fanservice."

And Hidekaz Himaruya saw Spain was good. Then he made Spain suggestive with other people. Romano got mad. And Hidekaz Himaruya saw this was good.

And Hidekaz Himaruya said, "Let's make it more dramatic. Have Spain love Romano and Chibitalia, and have Romano be angry all the time." And it was so.

The hint that fanfiction's thrive on grew even more transparent, and the idea of marriage and faces that look like tomatoes were thrown around. And Hidekaz Himaruya saw that it was good.

Then Hidekaz Himaruya said, "Let us make it even more opaque. And let's add a temper to Romano, so that there are hardly ever any signs of affection to Spain."

So Hidekaz Himaruya made it so;

he also added the problem of Romano being Catholic;

and the problem of Spain being a pedophile.

And then he taunted us. And Hidekaz Himaruya said, "Be imaginative and suck at grammar. Try to make a slash out of that."

And the fans answered, "Dude, have you read some RussiaxAmerica? We can make _slash_ out of _anything_."

And it was so. And Hidekaz Himaruya saw everything that he had influenced, and behold, it was good.

There was Spain and there was Romano, Spamano.

**I tried. So, good or bad?**

**Also don't be offened. I love Spamano and my grammar sucks.**

**But I'm atheist.**

**On that note, reviews are cherished, follows are treasured and favourites make me weep tears of joy.**

**And then this story gets priority.**

**Suggestions on who's next? **


	5. FRANADA

**The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe- Hetalia style.**

_**The Canadian**_

**(Told from Matthew's POV) **

Once upon a weekend wary, while I thought, mystic and very

Confused to why I was forgotten, "I'll make it no more!"

While I planned, nearly snapping, randomly, there came a rapping,

Of a rare visitor visiting, knocking on my bedroom door

"Just a mistake," I muttered "It's for Alfred, nothing more"

Only this and nothing more.

Ah, how wonderfully I remember, it was warm for September

And each falling leaf sought attention from the whores

Hopeful, I thought, of days when my life will have no sorrow

From unrequited feelings, feelings for my dear Monsieur

A sly and perverted bastard who left me wanting more

But my feelings went ignored

And the swiftly glances certain of a devilish portion

Shook me- took me to the height of unsure

So that now, to calm my nerves, I stood repeating

It was for Alfred, the knock on my door

It was for Alfred, the knock on my door

It it this and nothing more

Suddenly though, my fears were conquered, I was hesitant no longer

"Mr.," spoke me, "or Mrs, I think you're at the wrong door;

You see the fact is that your rapping, on my door, your very tapping

Was loud and sturdy, and truly meant for me no more,

But my brother, he is located on the third floor"-through the crack my eyes bore-

Darkness there and nothing more

I imagined a face, thin and sneering, I jumped back, moving, clearing

Ruminating, fearing things no sane person has ever thought to fear before

But the face was remaining, burning into my face, painting

Pictures of lucid cores that sighed "Monsieur!"

I repeated, an response fleeting from my lips a phantom "Monsieur!"

Merely this and nothing more

**This is a teaser, if I get a good response the full version of "The Canadian" will be posted as a one shot sometime in the near future.**

**Sorry, this isn't so humorous... **

**harponMOO is out :D **


	6. HUNGARY

_I sincerely wish _

_That you would make out with boys _

_Beware of my pan_

**I would rather kiss**

**You, with long brown hair- striking**

**I duck metal blows**

_I have a white van_

_A closet, men, some duct tape_

_Camera, record._

**I can't believe you**

**Dark pressure, scares me for life**

**Glowing button- haunts**

_Most likely the best_

_Film I have ever captured _

_Free streaming online_

_^.^ _

**Oh Hungary, you**

**so inspire us fangirls ^_^**

**Yaoi Haiku-style**

**What do you think? **

**comments are always welcome, thanks a bunch**

**~HarponMOO**


End file.
